


What Now?

by Lazarusmycroft



Series: Series three from my POV [4]
Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Johnlock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazarusmycroft/pseuds/Lazarusmycroft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow up to my fic "Shadow of the Day".  What happens after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Now?

The day after the wedding, Sunday, dawned with a watery sort of sun that barely pierced the darkness inside 221b. Sherlock had his lanky frame curled like a cat in his chair near the fire, he was wearing his pajamas and his camel coloured dressing gown. He wasn't asleep but the casual observer would have thought otherwise. Locked in his mind palace, Sherlock was trying with immense difficulty to delete the new data he had collected. Being in love with John, kissing John under the tree last night. Without warning he sprang from his chair with a loud grunt and roughly snatched up his violin and began playing.

Sometime around noon, long after Mrs. Hudson had brought his morning tea unnoticed and then came back, also unnoticed, to clean up the untouched morning tea, there was a soft knock on the door frame. Sherlock knew who it was, he could detect the hint of his cologne and could hear the creak of the floor boards the way only John Watson standing on them could sound. He didn't turn from the window, he continued playing his violin, putting off the moment for as long as possible, when he would have to finally face the man.

John stood at the door for a moment longer just watching the tall, gaunt form of Sherlock as he stood in his dressing gown, gracefully sliding the bow across the strings. After a moment he walked across the room to his old chair, across from Sherlock's leather one. Sitting down he crossed his legs and propped his head on his hand, watching Sherlock, he was aware that he was going to have to wait a while. John was certain that he should not push the man at this point, he finally opened up to him and John was afraid that pushing him might cause him to do something everyone would regret.

Sherlock finally played the final notes of the song he had been playing and he set the instrument aside, still he did not turn from the window to face John. He knew that he was sitting expectantly, staring at his back, he could feel the gaze boring into him. Taking a deep breath he turned on the spot and met John's eyes. Neither man made any movement or attempted to speak, they just regarded each other solemnly.

"John." It sounded as though he were saying it for the first time and if he was honest it felt like the first time. With his new information the name felt different...somehow. Sherlock made no attempt to move across the room to his chair. He wasn't sure he could be that close to him just yet.

"Uh...so...the...uh wedding...did you enj-"

"That's not why I'm here, Sherlock. We are not doing this, we have to talk. Properly."

"Yes, yes of course, you're right. I- uh, I'm sorry, for last night. You have my sincerest apologies...I was not in my right mind, that, uh, thing that happened, should not have happened." He finished somewhat lamely.

John raised his eyebrows at the detective, in complete disbelief.

"That's it then? We have one snog, something that, I'm pretty sure we have both been wanting to do, and then you tell me it was...what? All a mistake? " 

Sighing heavily he crossed the space to his chair in a few strides and he sat down opposite John. Gazing intently at him, trying to deduce what might be going through his mind, what his reactions might be to any possible scenario that was about to play out.

 

"We are both aware that things are very complicated at this moment, you are married and beginning a family. I am continuing to do what I have always done, my work. I fear that for the moment at least we may have to just leave things here, the way they are. If you choose to stay away and no longer want to participate as my blogger, I understand." Sherlock shook his head at John and closed his eyes briefly, stopping him from interrupting. 

"I say none of these things in search of pity, I think you know me somewhat better than that. I am not an emotional man, John, I don't plan on starting now. You have responsibilities now that are more important than anything else. I have my work which is, of course, always of the highest importance to me." He exhaled deeply, feeling a rush of relief at having finally said these things that had been rattling around in his head since last night. Sherlock stood up, having finished speaking while John remained motionless, obviously attempting to process it all. 

"You are the most....the most...difficult, impossible, ridiculous man I have ever met!" John was exasperated and found he was standing also by the time he finished. His hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides like they did when he was under stress. They both just stood staring at the other, Sherlock was so completely motionless he might have been carved from marble and John was breathing heavily through his nose.

 

"Well? I just-I don't- shit, I don't know what to do. I know I'm in love with you and you are with me but everything's is just so...so...shit."

Sherlock blinked rapidly a few times before he was able to respond. 

"John, I never meant for this to happen, to cause you more hurt than I already have." 

John snorted at that. Sherlock advanced on him and before the doctor could move or even process what was happening he was being embraced by the thin but strong arms of Sherlock and once again the whole world melted away from the two of them. Like last night, they might have been the only two people left alive, and it simply didn't matter. After an eternity that also somehow felt far too short they broke apart. Sherlock stepped back a pace or two letting go of John.

"That is going to have to be good enough for the time being, John. I'm sorry. As I said, if you choose to stay away I will understand, I sincerely hope that isn't what you choose but it's entirely up to you. I never wanted you to be hurt, not ever."

"There is no way in hell I could stay away, Sherlock. Of course I want to continue blogging about our cases, but-Jesus..." He wiped a hand over his face and felt the scratch of his wedding ring and looking at it he found himself realizing how heavy it felt. 

"Ok, we'll do this your way, always. I'm going now, we are leaving on holiday. I'll phone you...will you be alright? While I'm away?"

Sherlock scoffed and gave that sarcastic smirk that usually irked John and made him want to hit the man, it didn't have the same effect today.

"I think I'll manage." He turned away and pulled his mobile out of his pocket and began rapidly typing. John stood for a few moments longer watching the detective pretend to not care then finally he walked to the door, grabbed his coat from the hook and left. Returning to his normal life, with Mary. Leaving for his honeymoon tomorrow. When Sherlock heard the downstairs door close he walked to the window and looked down on Baker Street, watching John hail a cab (with difficulty). He knew they would never have the relationship he so badly craved, if only he hadn't needed to go undercover for those two years, that is where he lost everything. Exhaling he looked down at his mobile to see the new text message which was a reply to his message.

A.G.R.A -SH

It is being investigated as we speak-MH


End file.
